dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
