i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize