he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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