i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
