...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
