well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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