he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
