I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
