we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize