..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
