the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
This is the high leading the old right now
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
