also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
