Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
