eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
