I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
And the cops told us we were all naked.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
