1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
It's shark week go big or go home
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
