idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
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