I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
so let's talk penis.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
