Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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