Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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