one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
