hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
