Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
