Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
