Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
