He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
