I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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