is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Sext me about skeletons
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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