We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
