ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize