i barfeds in our rink
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
