that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
