Apparently you make a good broom.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
