He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
