Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
