He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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