Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Randomize
