She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
