CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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