I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
