You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
