When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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