I can feel you judging me through the phone.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
