how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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