I wanna passion pit in your ass
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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