For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
