some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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