I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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