In the future we'll all be gay
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
How external is "for external use only"?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize