There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
