I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
