I think I died a long time ago.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
