how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
