Sry I called you an 8
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
