i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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