Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car

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(503): View more from Oregon

we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.

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(585): View more from New York

eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'

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(719): View more from Colorado

dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it

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(620): View more from Kansas

Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid

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(713): View more from Texas

I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY

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(616): View more from Michigan

After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.

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(713): View more from Texas

Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....

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(613): View more from Ontario

According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...

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