where does the pee come out of this thing
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
