chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
