How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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