new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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