I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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