one two three fourrrrnication!
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
