I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
