I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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