guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
