What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
