gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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