I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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