ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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