Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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