I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize