i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
