Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
