Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize