I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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