it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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