cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
