butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I feel like abortions should bother me more
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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