Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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